Tales from the car pool

Since today was the first day back to school for my oldest hooligan C, it was also the first day that I had to drive the post-kindergarten car pool. In the two weeks we had off, I forgot the craziness that ensues when you strap 6 year olds into a mini-van after a day of school.



We had just made it out of the school parking lot, when my son randomly said, "butt, butt, penis" in a relatively calm and quiet voice. I have no idea where this came from. He pulled it right out of the clear blue sky.

Upon hearing this, C's buddy in the far back seat starts to bust a gut with laughter.

Honestly, it came so completely out of nowhere & C's friend & little sister were laughing so hard, that I found myself giggling a little bit too. I pulled myself together quickly, but not quick enough to stop him from repeating the phrase even louder this time.

"BUTT, BUTT, PENIS!", he began chanting in a very loud voice.

My standard line when these shenanigans start in the car is to say, "Let's leave the bathroom talk in the bathroom where it belongs, boys." But honestly, my son will do anything for a laugh, so I knew that this was going to be a battle that was going to be hard to win while driving. After going about a mile or so, I finally got him to stop the chanting and found myself mollified when the conversation digressed to fart noises. Thankfully shortly thereafter, C's favorite song came on the radio, so I was spared from more 6 year old humor while the kids all sang, "I like to move it, move it!"

This afternoon I got another flash of this special brand of kindergarten humor. C and I were working on his family poster for school. Next week is C's turn to be the class star and the festivities will kick off when he presents a poster board filled with pictures of his friends and family to the class. He had written his name on the poster & we had finished taping all of his photos down when he asked me, "How do you spell bottom?"

"Why do you want to know?" I asked.
"Oh, I want to write in on my poster." he replied calmly
"Ummm, why would you want to do that? This is a poster about you and your family."
"Oh, I know Mom. Everyone just laughs when I say the word bottom at school, so I wanted to make sure to write it on my poster."

Geesh...I can't wait for parent-teacher conferences in the spring.

Thankfully, he accepted my explanation why we wouldn't be writing the word bottom on his family poster. After some negotiation, he seemed happy once I allowed him to write the word R2D2 on his project instead. It was a trade-off I was happy to make.

This is why I don't have any famous friends.....

About 8 months ago my friend Kelly told me about the website Goodreads. Have you seen this site before? If you like to read, you really need to check it out. Goodreads allows each member to input the books they have read or would like to read. It also allows you to assign a rating for those books & to write a review if you'd like. Kelly & I are avid readers, and she pointed out it that it was a great way to learn about new books & to keep up with what we were both reading. I joined and quickly found out that she was right. It's a great resource for finding new reading material.



Before I found Goodreads, I had either gone to the library or book store & stared at the book covers until I found one that looked appealing. This was a fun way to pass the time before I had children. Now, however when I tried to look for new books this way I found that my 2 hooligans would often run wildy around the store or library screaming at the top of their lungs while other patrons and store/library personnel glared at me disapprovingly not stand still long enough for me to make my selection. So, I often found myself either re-reading the same books I already owned over & over again or waiting for my Mom to feed me her books once she was done reading them.

Once I signed up & joined the site, I spent the first few evenings updating my online reading library & included many books that I had read over the past few years (you knew I was a geek right? The fact that I not only took the time to do this, but also enjoyed doing it shouldn't really surprise you....). After that was accomplished I went ahead and gave them all a ranking from 1 to 5 stars. Because I had read a lot of the books more than once, it was a pretty easy task.


Since the spring, I've used the site a lot and have gotten many really good recommendations on both fiction and non-fiction. I have seen my virtual library of books read and my pile books to read grow pretty steadily. I have even written some of my own reviews on the site.


Now let's flash forward to yesterday. I checked my emails & there was a Goodreads friend request from someone named Charlotte Hughes. "Hmm'" I thought to myself, "that name sounds familiar." Then I realized why: Charlotte Hughes is an author. She has written several books in partnership with Janet Evanovich (one of my all-time favorite authors) and has also written many books on her own.

I had no idea, why she wanted to be my friend, but I approved her online friendship eagerly, especially once I saw that I was only one of 10 other friends she had on the site. I felt special...hand picked by a New York Times best selling author as her friend. OK, I realize she doesn't really know me & yes, I know that this does not mean we are friends in any real sense of the word. But still, it was pretty cool.


Then I went to my on-line library of books & typed in her name. I soon discovered that despite the fact I have read a few of her books, only one is listed on my virtual bookshelf. I clicked to see what book it was & I noticed that I had only given her book 3 out of 5 stars! Yikes - this did not bode well for our virtual friendship. Then I looked closer & saw that I had also reviewed her book.

Here is what I wrote about her novel What Looks Like Crazy:
"I read this book because I did enjoy the books Charlotte Hughes co-wrote with Janet Evanovich. I enjoyed the characters & the story, but I felt like it was a bit too short & left a lot of loose ends dangling. It looks like this is part of a series, but even knowing that, I felt like this book could have been developed more. It was ejoyable, but a little disappointing"



OMG!!!!

First of all, how many times can I use the words enjoy and book in a 4 sentence paragraph? Secondly, check out the way I misspell the only nice part of my review on this novel: It was ejoyable?!? Aaarrrggh! This woman is an author & I did a terrible job of writing a lukewarm review of one of her books. Seriously, I think my new virtual friendship is off to a bit of a rocky start (I also think I need to stop writing reviews on the site until I can improve my writing skills!).

I now feel compelled to read her entire library of books & give them all 5 stars to redeem myself. Do you think she'll sense my desperation? Would that come off as too needy? I think the pressure of our new friendship may be getting the better of me. I mean, if she truly wants to be my friend, she'll appreciate my honest opinions, no matter how poorly written they are, right?

I'm starting to think she was trying to delete my poorly written review & accidentally hit the wrong button. She probably got my acceptance email of our friendship online & has been trying to figure out how to break off the relationship ever since. Is there even a way to do that in Goodreads? Well, until she figures it out, I get to tell everyone that one of my friends has been on the New York Times best seller list.

Don't worry Kelly, I'm not replacing you as a friend. Clearly relationships with the famous & well written are just too much for me to handle! Charlotte can just go ahead and dump me whenever she wants. I'll stick with you (besides you have too much dirt on me from our days in high school together. You'd be far too dangerous to alienate!).

2008 - A year in pictures from the House of Crackers

January

My hooligans watching a little TV together

(without fighting over who should sit where - a minor miracle)

February
The Cracker Family does Disney

March

Wow - Mr. Crackers builds a snowman larger than any member of the family.

It takes weeks to melt away

April

(not really - this is also March. I just didn't take any good pictures in April)

All dressed up on Easter Sunday.

May

A reluctant flower - Mother's Day pageant @ C's pre-school

June

Vacation with all of the extended Cracker Family in North Carolina.

(I am craving a little warm beach time right now!)

July

With friends at the local balloon festival

August

K & C head off for the first week of school.

August #2

My 20th High School reunion: not at all scary like I initially feared!

Had a terrific time with"old" friends!

September

C has fun in the first batch of leaves that fall.

October

Halloween fun

November

Sadie just hates having her picture taken.

She must've been a paparazzi-shy celebrity in her past life.

December

The family Christmas card

Happy New Year from my House of Crackers to yours!

I hope 2009 brings you and your loved ones health and happiness!

My very own mini-me

The Christmas and birthday festivities are winding down here at the House of Crackers. The tree is down in anticipation of some house guests who will be arriving at our home this evening and who will be staying with us for the week. Since we bought the tree right after Thanksgiving, we thought it prudent to take it down before it burst into flames right in front of our guests one evening. Although it would make the trip more exciting, it would also send them home sooner than we would like.

Looking back over the past week, I have to say that this year's Christmas was really nice and peaceful. There was a lot less rushing around. We enjoyed what we were doing rather than worrying where we had to be next.

Mr. Crackers and I had a blast watching the kids open their gifts this year. While C exhibited the normal level of excitement over each present he opened, K took everything to an even higher level. A level not seen since I myself was just a young hooligan.

You see, when I was small I would get so excited about the act of receiving and opening a gift that I would declare loudly "It's just what I always wanted!" after opening every single gift. I would do this even if I had absolutely no idea what the gift actually was. This was brought home very clearly one year when I opened a particular present on Christmas morning & declared my undying love for it. My parents had cleverly deduced that I had no idea what it was.

And so, they asked me, "Karen do you know what it is?"

"Yes, it's a book!!" I probably shouted loudly & excitedly.

"Yes, honey, but what kind of book is it? Do you know?"

"Yes, it's a Dick Toyon Airy!" I called back.

"Umm, honey, read it again" Mom said ever so patiently (And probably sadly, as she was now discovering that her eldest born daughter may perhaps be just a little bit dumb).

"It's a Dick Toyon Airy! Thanks Mom and Dad!"

"Honey, please read it again, more slowly" (At this point she was probably thinking she'd like to set up a conference with my teachers once school was back in session...)

"What? Isn't it a Dick Toyon Airy?"

If memory serves, it took at least 1 to 2 more tries and then some direct intervention from my Mother until at last I understood what I was looking at - A dictionary. Here it is, I still have it:

Darn those tricky bastards at Thorndike-Barnhart! Why can't they just put the letters all together to spare their young readers some embarrassment?

I'm not sure a dictionary was ever met with such enthusiasm before or since. Even after discovering the true identity of the gift, my love for it did not dim. To this day, I am teased mercilessly (& rightly) for my enthusiasm over things that I often do not fully understand.

So, you can imagine my own amusement as K started to exhibit this same tendency for excitement about gifts even when she had no idea what they were. Several times this Christmas, she declared "Look Momma, it's just what I always wanted!" And, when I asked her what it was, I would hear back, "I don't know! Isn't it beautiful?" Ahhh, the enthusiasm of youth! It is what makes Christmas so fun.

So far, all the gifts seem to pretty big hits with both of my hooligans. K's Christmas gifts were primarily in the 3 themes of horses, princesses or furniture for her doll house.

C received a lot of Legos (he especially loves the Star Wars ones), cars and Playmobil sets.

I know they must love their gifts because they have asked several times if instead of watching TV, could they please play with their new toys? Yes! I am very psyched about this new development. Hopefully, this excitement will not wane before school starts up again next week.

Now I am just hoping they can share those new toys with our houseguests who will be arriving in about an hour. What are the chances our week will remain this peaceful? Hmmm, I'll try to keep an optimistic (dare I say enthusiastic?) outlook.

My hooligan turns 6

Here at the House of Crackers, December is not only filled with Christmas cheer, it is also chocked full of birthday celebrations. My sister, two of my nieces, 5 of our neighborhood friends and my own hooligan C all celebrate their birthdays within 2 weeks of Christmas. I must say, it makes for a more stressful and expensive fun holiday season!

Today is C's birthday - my baby boy turned 6! We had a small family party featuring his favorite meal - spaghetti & meatballs. We'll have the party for his friends in a couple of weeks after everyone recovers from their post holiday hang-overs. C wants a Star Wars theme this year & he wants to have the party at home. He has become quite the homebody lately. There was nothing myself or Mr. Crackers could say or do to entice him into having his party at another venue where less damage would be inflicted on our house. So now I am trying to figure out what I can do to keep 6-8 boys his age happy and entertained without destroying the place. I am currently having nightmares about arming 6 boys with inflatable lightsabers. I'm not there yet, thank goodness I still have about 2 weeks to figure out a plan. Any ideas?

Anyway, in honor of C's birthday today, I thought I'd share 6 pictures with you. One from every year.

Here he is at about 4 months old. Those blocks saw a lot of action...

This one was taken in October 2004 - he was about 21 months old (just shy of 2)

Here he is breaking in the new playset that Mr. Crackers built for him. He's just shy of 2 1/2 here.

I have always loved this one. Summer 2006 at the beach on St. Georges Island, Florida

This one was taken in 2007 at the Children's Museum in Indianapolis.

November 2008 in our front yard playing in the leaves (still in his school uniform). All of his smiles lately have been the open mouth kind to better show off those missing bottom teeth.

I can't believe how big he's gotten. Sometimes it feels like just a moment ago he was still in diapers. Happy Birthday C! May the force be with you.

The final hours....

The presents are all wrapped.
The reindeer food has been sprinkled on the lawn.
The Christmas outfits are laid out on the beds.
K is taking a short nap.

We head to church in an hour to kick off our Christmas festivities. This year we'll head to my parent's church to celebrate with them. Then it's back to their house for a wonderful dinner followed by some dessert shared with neighbors we have known and loved since I was a very small girl.

Then it's time to open a few gifts before returning home to get my hooligans down for thier "long winters nap" & so Mr. Crackers & I can fill stockings and get ready for the early morning wake-up call from those very same hooligans.

Tomorrow morning the family will come to our house for a new tradition - brunch at the House of Crackers. Hopefully I've purchased everything I need for the casserole & quiche. If not, I'm sure I can throw something else together. At this point I'm just enjoying the ride.

Merry Christmas to you and yours from the House of Crackers!

Some good news, and some wait 'n see

A couple of days ago, I told you in an issue we discovered on Mr. Cracker's credit card,where the company RESERVATION REWARDS had been charging us $10.00 a month (for the past 20 or so months) without our knowledge to the tune of a little over $200.00! Since we already covered in that post how stupid we are how it came to pass that it took us so long to discover these recurring charges, I won't rehash that again. (You can check out the whole story here.)

I did want to check back though & give you the good news - I looked today & true to their word, the folks at RESERVATION REWARDS credited our card for all the charges they had made since March 2007. Even though I still maintain that their marketing efforts are just plain sneaky, I respect the fact that they made the whole restitution thing as easy as they did. I was anticipating months of back and forth to get it resolved. It was a nice surprise to find them so amiable to make the situation right.

I'll take that $200.00 back, thank you very much!

Unfortunately, I can't say I have good news to report on the whole iKitchen front. I can already tell that it is not going to be resolved as easily as our issue with Reservation Rewards. I have found as many complaints about iKitchen as I have freckles on my left arm (in short, there are a lot!). It appears that iKitchen may indeed be in the business of defrauding people out of money by taking orders for goods that they have no plans on ever shipping. Buyer beware, for this site looks legitimate. I also discovered after doing more research that the guy who operates iKitchen also runs the following websites with similar results:

EKitchenGadgets.com

KitchenHomeGadgets.com

KitchenKaboodles.com

HomeBrands.com

MetroMarket.com

Red-Tag.com

GiantSavings.com

OfficialRedTagSale.com

dotcomproject.com

Kitchen and Home Concepts HCG Logistics

It would appear that you have as much chance of receiving an item that you paid for from the sites listed above as you would fitting into the jeans you wore back in high school.

Not even in high school did I look this good in a pair of jeans...

In short, it looks like you'd be throwing money away by ordering from these companies, so save yourself the hassle and the money & don't do it.

Since I don't want to end this post on such a down note, I'll give you a little more good news just to put your minds at ease. I know you will all be happy to know that Mr. Crackers has already gotten me a new present to replace the one we clearly won't be receiving from iKitchen. I knew you'd be worried about it - no fear, I will have something to open on Christmas morning. Whew, that's one less burden for you to be carrying around. I hope knowing that I have something to open will help make your Christmas a little brighter! You're welcome.