Updates here & there

Since I know you've all been on pins and needles waiting for me to do a little follow up on some previous posts, (said with a dose of heavy sarcasm) I thought I'd catch you up on things here around the House of Crackers:

Supper Gourmet Club
You'll be happy to know that the dinner we hosted for Supper Gourmet Club on Saturday was a success. Yea! I'm sorry to say that I have no pictures to share of the evening because I was a bit stressed out about frying up my first ever batch of chicken for a group of people with discriminating palettes. (of course it could also be said I was too also too busy sampling martinis...)

The chicken turned out both crispy and juicy (which it should have been considering it spent 24 hours brining in a salt water bath, followed by another 24 hours soaking in buttermilk). It was a fun night filled with delicious southern favorites and tasty martinis. I think the star of the evening was the Bourbon Glazed Bread Pudding served with brown sugar ice cream (Haagan-Daz, I will be soon be writing a love sonnet for your brown sugar ice cream). Sweet, sweet bourbon bread pudding, where have you been all my life?

Now I just have to figure out how to get the smell of fried chicken, bacon & lard out of my house. It smelled delicious as it was all cooking Saturday night, but 2 days of living in a place that smells like KFC is starting to bring me down a little. A friend of mine suggested leaving out bowls of white vinegar & that seems to have helped a bit. If I ever make another batch of fried chicken again, I'll do it in a warmer month so I can open all the windows to air the place out a bit.

If I can't get the smell out soon, Santa will be expecting a plate of fried chicken when he comes down the chimney instead of cookies.


The Dining Room Dilemma
As a follow up to my post about my complete lack of decorating prowess, I wanted to let you know that we decided to replace the curtains in the dining room. Since the "Harry Potter" red plaid curtains in the room seemed to make Mr. Crackers' a little anxious when paired with all of the other patterns in the room, we decided to replace them with solid green panels. Of course it was also considerably less expensive than option #2 which was replacing the area rug. We hoped the new curtains would help us tie the conflicting patterns of the newly covered chairs with the patterned area rug.



Here's the result:


And from another angle:


Did it work? Hmm, good question. I will tell you that these green curtains definitely work with all of the patterns in the room better than the plaid ones they are replacing, but I'll also tell you that I definitely shouldn't be allowed in a fabric store again anytime soon.

Misplaced priorities on my to-do list
And finally, just thought I'd share what I did while K was napping today. I'm sure you are thinking I was working on the normal things that keep us all busy this time of year: writing Christmas cards or Christmas shopping or even starting to pull together my son's 7th birthday party which will be here in just a few weeks...

Nope, I spent my "down" time this afternoon organizing my spices & putting little tiny labels on them so I could actually find them quickly without doing my usual 5 minute spicy scavenger hunt.



I am very excited about the labels, don't they make it so much easier to find the spice you're looking for (yes I know I am dork, we've discussed that before haven't we)? In my defense, I will tell you that my Mom was performing the same task today & put the idea in my head so I will shift the blame to her. I'm just saying that if your Christmas cards are late this year, now you know why. It's worth though isn't it?

Thanks for the idea Mom. Hope you got your cabinets done too!

I'll take the lard... with a side of bacon

This evening Mr. Crackers & I take our turn hosting Supper Gourmet Club. Supper Gourmet Club was the brainchild of a friend of ours who thought it would be fun to get together with a group of friends once a month every other month whenever we can find time on everyone's schedule, for a night of cocktails and fine dining WITHOUT CHILDREN. While I've always had trouble referring to the dinners as Gourmet Club (which definitely sounds a like something I would not get invited to under normal circumstances) the meals themselves have definitely warranted the title.

So far we've had delicious meals inspired by the cuisines of Italy, South America & Japan. All of them featured sumptuous food & tasty wines and cocktails. Truly, they have all been meals that rival the food found in some of the best restaurants around town.

So, tonight it's time for the House of Crackers to host the group. What is the theme, you ask? Well, Mr. Crackers and I picked Southern Cuisine. You see, one of the couples in the group (the couple whose idea it was to start the club in the first place and who are the "glue" that holds the rest of us together) will be deserting abandoning moving to Atlanta sometime in the next couple of months. Since we ourselves just moved from there a few years ago, it seemed a fitting theme.

But, this meal really won't be a true Gourmet Club event, at it's heart it going to be Supper Club. While there are a lot of innovative dishes that are part of the cuisine of the "New South" this dinner will be paying homage to traditional family-style southern recipes. I will be frying up my first ever batch of fried chicken. If you've never cooked fried chicken before, let me just tell you to go to KFC instead it seems like there is a lot that could go wrong....I am feeling more than a little pressure about this evening's dining experience. I know now why I prefer getting my fried chicken right from the Colonel himself (It only takes 5 minutes of waiting in line & it always tastes good). We'll also be having wilted salad, squash casserole and bourbon glazed bread pudding.
Mmm, I think my mouth is already watering.

I hope everyone has a great time tonight & that the food will live up to the high standards set by the meals we've had in the past. But perhaps I should lower my expectations a bit. Honestly, I will just be happy if no one keels over from clogged arteries by the end of the evening. The amount of butter, bacon, mayonnaise, and (lord, help me) lard that is being used tonight to prepare these dishes may have us all wishing this night of traditional Southern cooking never happened. It's a good thing we restocked the bar.

Bon Appetit Y'all!

The most important meal of the day

This is the face that awaits me every morning at 7:15 when I come downstairs from my shower. Typically this look is accompanied by a lot of whining and complaining. You see, there is not a food on the planet (except m&m's) that will satisfy K in the morning. In short, there is always an issue with whatever food is prepared for her. It doesn't matter how many mealtime options are presented to her or how accommodating Mr. Crackers & I are, there is always a problem with breakfast.

Here is how a typical morning goes in the Cracker household:

Mr. Crackers: Hey guys, what do you want for breakfast this morning?

K: What are our options?

Mr Crackers: Umm, let's see - you can have pancakes (straight from the freezer - thank you very much), cereal, or peanut butter toast.

C: I'll have pancakes please & a yogurt drink. (C's easy-going attitude toward food is the only reason I consent to eat meals with my children. He is happy to eat almost anything you give him. He can also get through an entire meal without bursting into tears or whining. The same cannot be said for my youngest child, who feels like a meal is not a meal unless served with a great deal of whine. )

K: silence...

Mr. Crackers: K, what do you want to eat?

K: more silence....

Mr. Crackers (more loudly this time): K, what do you want to eat?

K: What are my options?

Mr. Crackers tries to calmly repeat the options he already mentioned above and waits again for a response only to be faced once more with absolute silence...

Mr. Crackers: K, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT???

K: Umm... cereal.

Mr. Crackers: Are you sure?

K: Yes, I want cereal Daddy.

Mr. Crackers then starts to prepare C's breakfast, but before putting the cereal in the bowl for K , he'll shout over to her again to verify what she wants.

Mr. Crackers: K, are you sure you want cereal?

K: Yes Daddy, cereal.

Mr. Crackers: With milk in it?

K: Yes, I want milk in it.

Mr. Crackers then finishes pulling everything together & puts breakfast on the table just as I am entering the kitchen. I call the kids to breakfast (at least twice -since I am usually ignored the first time). Our two hooligans then stumble into the kitchen and head for the table. At this point, the same thing always happens as K gets to her place at the table (no matter what choice she has made that morning).

K: I don't want cereal for breakfast!! (usually this statement is made in a high pitched whine that only dogs & parents can hear). You put milk in it!! I don't want milk! I WANT SOMETHING ELSE TO EAT!

I try to shoot a look over to Mr. Crackers that says "Holy Heck - here we go again", but he is too busy getting himself ready for work. You can sense the desperation as he tries to leave the house as quickly as possible before the whining can pierce both of his eardrums. Really, I can't blame him. If I could, I'd exit the house with him.

Me (as patiently as I can manage before caffeine hits my bloodstream): K, you are the one that picked cereal for breakfast. Please eat some of it.

K: I DON'T WANT CEREAL! I WANT SOMETHING ELSE!

Me (desperately wishing I was still upstairs): What do you want? What will you eat?

K: What are my options??

And so... the process starts again. Knowing that the whining will get exponentially worse the more hungry she becomes is really the only reason that Mr. Crackers & I participate in the daily ritual of torture known in many other households as breakfast.

Once we finally settle on something that she is willing to eat - she gulps down about 3 or 4 bites before declaring that she's full. We then head upstairs to get ready for the day & C heads out the door for school.

Without fail, 15 minutes after C is gone, K looks me in the eye & says. "Mommy, I'm hungry. What are my options?"

These cupcakes are da bomb!

This past Sunday we went over to my Mom & Dad's house for dinner. Since it was close to St. Patrick's Day, I made the Irish Car Bomb cupcake recipe that I found on the Smitten Kitchen website. Jeeesus, Mary & Joseph! (as my Irish Grandmother used to say) They were the best cupcakes I have ever tasted! Made with Guinness Beer and Bailey's Irish Creme, they seemed like the perfect sweet treat for this time of year.

(food photography is not my thing...sorry for the blurriness!)

If there is any part of you that loves chocolate and the taste of Bailey's Irish Creme, I urge you to make these cupcakes as soon as you possibly can. Although, I have to disclose that since the recipe makes 24 cupcakes, you may want to wait until there are people around so that you don't find yourself eating all 24 yourself (which I would have happily done if left to my own devices. Luckily I froze 6 of the cupcakes & gave the most of the rest away. Still, I have managed to eat 4 of them in the past 48 hours & it will be a miracle if the last cupcake survives until Mr. Crackers gets home tonight!)

Here's the recipe (from SmittenKitchen.com)

Makes 20 to 24 cupcakes

For the Guinness Chocolate Cupcakes:
1 cup stout (such as Guinness)
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups all purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
2/3 cup sour cream

Ganache Filling:
8 ounces bittersweet chocolate
2/3 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons butter, room temperature

Baileys Frosting:
2 1/2 to 3 cups confections sugar
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 tablespoons Baileys

Special equipment: 1-inch round cookie cutter or an apple corer and a piping bag (though a plastic bag with the corner snipped off will also work). I used an apple corer with great success!

Make the cupcakes: Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 24 cupcake cups with liners. Bring 1 cup stout and 1 cup butter to simmer in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add cocoa powder and whisk until mixture is smooth. Cool slightly.
Whisk flour, sugar, baking soda, and 3/4 teaspoon salt in large bowl to blend. Using electric mixer, beat eggs and sour cream in another large bowl to blend. Add stout-chocolate mixture to egg mixture and beat just to combine. Add flour mixture and beat briefly on slow speed. Using rubber spatula, fold batter until completely combined. Divide batter among cupcake liners, filling them 2/3 to 3/4 of the way. Bake cake until tester inserted into center comes out clean, rotating them once front to back if your oven bakes unevenly, about 17 minutes. Cool cupcakes on a rack completely.

Make the filling: Chop the chocolate and transfer it to a heatproof bowl. Heat the cream until simmering and pour it over the chocolate. Let it sit for one minute and then stir until smooth. (If this has not sufficiently melted the chocolate, you can return it to a double-boiler to gently melt what remains. 20 seconds in the microwave, watching carefully, will also work.) Add the butter and whiskey (if you’re using it) and stir until combined.

Fill the cupcakes: Let the ganache cool until thick but still soft enough to be piped (the fridge will speed this along but you must stir it every 10 minutes). Meanwhile, using your 1-inch round cookie cutter or an apple corer, cut the centers out of the cooled cupcakes. You want to go most of the way down the cupcake but not cut through the bottom — aim for 2/3 of the way. A slim spoon or grapefruit knife will help you get the center out. Put the ganache into a piping bag with a wide tip and fill the holes in each cupcake to the top.

Make the frosting: Whip the butter in a bowl with a hand mixer, for several minutes. You want to get it very light and fluffy. Slowly add the powdered sugar, a little bit at a time.

When the frosting looks thick enough to spread, drizzle in the Baileys (or milk) and whip it until combined. If this has made the frosting too thin (it shouldn’t, but just in case) beat in another spoonful or two of powdered sugar.

Ice and decorate the cupcakes.

As I said before, your final step will be quickly give as many of these away as possible, or you will find yourself barricaded in your own kitchen speed eating them until you are no longer able to button your pants.

And now, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I will share with you one of my memories of my Irish Grandmother. (I should probably preface this story by saying my paternal grandparents had 12 children - and that is bound to do something to a person. I myself probably would have gone completely insane when faced with that many children to raise.) Although I don't think she was even five feet tall, my Grandma was a force to be reckoned with. To a child of 7 or 8, she was downright fearsome - not at all the prototypical warm and fuzzy grandma.

"Do ya want to play a game with me Karen?"(this in itself should have been a clue that something strange was coming. I think this was the only time she ever uttered that sentence.)

"Sure Grandma, what do you want to play?"

"It's a game I call 52 pick up. Do ya want to know how to play?"

"Yeah" (I swear I have always been incredibly gullible. I had no idea what was coming next.)

"OK. Here we go" she told me as she threw an entire deck of cards up into the air.

We both watched as all 52 cards fell down onto the floral carpeting in the living room.

"Now ya get pick 'em up." she said with a gleam in her eye as she turned and left the room.

I'll tell you something that I learned at an early age. Do not mess with the Irish.

My latest fear - the food court ambush

I wanted to tell you about the strangest segment I saw yesterday on the Today show. The woman trainer from Biggest Loser (I have no idea what her name is) was ambushing people in a mall food court somewhere.

I watched her approach a group of 3 women in their mid-sixties who were enjoying a nice ice cream break. Judging by the trainer's reaction, you would have thought these women were speed eating sticks of butter. The food nazi trainer went nuts, berating them for eating ice cream, asking them "Are you aware how much fat you are consuming? Do you know how bad ice cream is for you? Shame on you, eating ice cream at 11:30 in the morning!"

The 3 women stared back at her blankly, hoping that she'd just go away. I kept wishing one of them would scream, "Step back beeyoch! I am over sixty & I can eat a damn ice cream cone whenever the hell I want to!" (Being over 60, they can probably curse on national TV without repercussions -although I may just be making that up.)


Sadly, none of the women did this, they just continued to stare at her until she left to harass other people who were eating "equally dangerous" foods. Now it's one thing to sign up for a show like Biggest Loser & open yourself up to criticism, but it's another thing entirely to have someone ambush you in the food court while you are eating a hot soft pretzel from Auntie Ann's (mmm... pretzels). Seriously, what is this world coming to when you can't make food choices as an adult without criticism from complete strangers?


The segment came to a close with the trainer saying that people eat things like pizza and ice cream because they have low self esteem. She commented that if they could only look ahead to a healthier future for themselves they'd see that salad was a better option and they would give up those other terrible food choices.

I was like - Hey there trainer chick, I've got a news bulletin for you: pizza and ice cream are delicious! I promise that I'm not eating them due to low self esteem. There is no guarantee that I am going to live a really long life just because I eat salad instead of pizza. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and I'm telling you now, if I have the choice I am choosing pizza over salad as my final meal.

I used to have this friend who was constantly criticising the food I would prepare for dinner. Here's a typical conversation:

Her: What are you making for dinner tonight? I think I'm out of ideas...

Me: It's Taco night at the House of Crackers!

Her: You're not making beef tacos are you? That's sooo bad for you. I hope you're making turkey tacos. Please tell me you're not using ground beef.

Me: Well, we do turkey tacos sometimes, but tonight it's ground beef for us.

Her: Seriously Karen, you shouldn't be eating beef - it's soooo bad for you. I feed my family ground turkey all the time & they love it. They say they can't taste any difference and I feel good because I am feeding them something that's really healthy for them. We never eat beef anymore. You should really stop making it too.

At this point my eyes would start to cross & I'd bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying, "Back off there sister!"

I'm telling you, no matter what I was cooking she always had a better, more healthful way to prepare it. As you can imagine I learned after awhile just to tell her that I had no idea what I was making for dinner. It was just easier that way. (Oddly, the woman put more sugary treats into her children than anyone else I know. Every time I talked to her the kids were eating candy or ice cream.)

Now I know that as a country we have a serious weight problem. I'm not advocating the pizza and ice cream diet. I'm just saying that I think it's all about balance. For heavens sakes, my Great Grandma lived to be 103 years old and she had a love affair with butter her whole life. I think that as long as you make the effort to put healthy foods in front of your family most nights, there is nothing wrong with a little ice cream or pizza.

Speaking of which, my mouth is watering - guess what we're having for dinner tonight?

I telling you this though, it may be a long time before I can eat at a food court again without looking over my shoulder. Stupid Today Show!

A farewell to (Cincinnati) chili.

A conversation with my stomach:

First, let me say that I am so very sorry for the way I treated you yesterday afternoon at lunch. I am almost 39 years old & I should know better than to try and feed you a plate full of Cincinnati chili with a mound of cheddar cheese on top.

You're right...I'm not a kid anymore. OK, I'll give you that point too, adding the hot sauce on top was just asking for trouble. But, I still don't know why you tortured me all evening.

No, I don't know why they call it "chili". You're right, it bears no resemblance to the chili I fed you while we were growing up together. I know! Cinnamon should never be an ingredient in chili, I agree! It's an acquired taste, you know that. After all, it took us years just to be able to find the stuff palatable. No, I don't know why they put it on spaghetti and then top it with 2 pounds of cheddar cheese. All I do know is that people from Cincinnati just can't get enough of the stuff. I know we don't live in Cincinnati, but people here must like the stuff too or else there wouldn't be 5 of those restaurants within 10 miles of our home.

I could blame Mr. Crackers and his Cincinnati roots for forcing me to eat the chili, but both you and I know that I walked into that restaurant willingly, even eagerly, to feast upon the chili after 2 rousing games at the bowling alley. Thanks - I couldn't believe I won both games either! I know both Mr. Crackers & our friend M were also both surprised. Yes, I'm sure I would have done just as well even if we weren't playing with bumpers on the side. Is that a laugh I heard? Are you laughing at me?

But, seriously, did you have to punish me all day & into the wee hours of the morning for eating the stuff? What? I did take Tums! I took about 8 tablets, don't you remember? Nothing though seemed to shake the feeling that I had a burning hot rock of lava sitting in my gut! For goodness sakes, I couldn't even enjoy the stew that I made for dinner. That stew took me over 4 hours to make - couldn't you give a girl a break!?

How 'bout this? If I vow not to darken the door of that chili place again, will you have a conversation with the intestines on my behalf & tell them to go easy on me later today? Seriously, I could really use a break from you guys on this. OK, OK...I'll throw in a couple of pieces of chocolate. Boy, you drive a hard bargain.

So, do we have a deal?

Thanks!

Oh, and one other thing. Could you speak to my metabolism for me? It seems to be slowing down a bit. I think I am starting to put on a little extra padding in my mid-section. No, I'm sure it has nothing to do with all the cookies I ate over Christmas! What?! It's 14 degrees outside! You can't possibly expect me to go jogging now. What did you say? A gym?

Well, umm...I've gotta go. I think I hear K calling my name. We'll have to finish this conversation later. Bye now!

Who are these children?

Mr. Crackers had to work late a couple of evenings this week, so the kids & I had to do dinner on our own. I am relatively apathetic about cooking dinner for the 2 pickiest kids in America when he is gone. I get weary of eating tomato soup, macaroni and cheese and spaghetti.

So, my hooligans & I spent the first evening without Mr. Crackers eating pizza with my parents. As always, the kids managed to make a simple dinner out seem like a mild form of torture. K was out of her seat every 5 minutes or so asking to go to the bathroom (this is her ploy to get a change of scenery & get away from the table. I still fall for it every time since I am a complete dummy she's only been fully potty trained for about a month or so & I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt). C was tired, so he insisted on giving me all kinds of attitude about his dinner options & then once his meal arrived, announced that he didn't like what he ordered. All of this is pretty typical, but I can only inflict this kind of pain on my folks once a week, so I knew I was on my own for dinner the next evening
.

Since I was still apathetic about cooking last night, I decided to torture myself again the three of us should go out for Chinese food. Strangely, my hooligans behave pretty well in restaurants when it's just the three of us. Introduce another adult into the mix & things get a little dicey. I'm not sure why this is, but I have decided to just go with it.

We got to our neighborhood Chinese restaurant & ordered our standard favorites. For some reason (I think the movie Kung Fu Panda may be the cause) both kids decided that they had to eat their entire meal with chopsticks. This was a first. Now both of my kids have a set of kid-friendly training chopsticks that was given to them by one of my friends last year, but I didn't have those with me.

These cute chopstick holders were in my utensil drawer at home where they did me no good!

So, I had to watch my hooligans try and get the food to their mouths 4 pieces of rice at a time. They would not listen to my helpful hints on how to use chopsticks. Nope, they wanted to figure it all out of their own. It was like watching a train wreck (a really slow train wreck that lasts 30 minutes or more). On the bright side, I didn't have to rush & down my food really quickly like I normally do. The meal lasted an eternity a really long time.





After we finally finished eating and got home, it was getting close to bedtime. We headed upstairs so the kids could put on their PJs before we settled in to watch some TV. I had turned on Andrew Zimmern's show Bizarre Foods while the kids were getting dressed. Have you seen this show yet? I really like it. The man has an iron stomach & will try absolutely any food at least once. Last night's show took place in Morocco & my 2 hooligans were instantly hooked. They sat down next to me & actually shushed me when I asked if they wanted to watch the Backyardigans. "No Mom! Be quiet, we are trying to watch this show!"



And watch it they did. We watched Andrew eat couscous, goat, kidneys, some kind of fetid meat and egg dish and even calf brains. My two kids were mesmerized. I was expecting to hear a lot of "Eewww, that's yucky!" from my youngest, but the only time she said it was when he ate the brains (honestly, I have to say I agreed with her on that one). It was really fun watching the show with them. They seemed to have a really open attitude toward the cuisine of Morocco, which is odd for 2 children who find such limited appeal in the food I make. Hmmm... I'll try not to take it too personally even if I hear "Eeewww" about something I cook at least once a day. Hopefully it's not a commentary on my cooking skills....



I don't know if last night was an aberration or if their minds are actually starting to expand a little bit, but it was fun. Now I just need to remember to put those training chop-sticks in my purse for next time!