My latest fear - the food court ambush

I wanted to tell you about the strangest segment I saw yesterday on the Today show. The woman trainer from Biggest Loser (I have no idea what her name is) was ambushing people in a mall food court somewhere.

I watched her approach a group of 3 women in their mid-sixties who were enjoying a nice ice cream break. Judging by the trainer's reaction, you would have thought these women were speed eating sticks of butter. The food nazi trainer went nuts, berating them for eating ice cream, asking them "Are you aware how much fat you are consuming? Do you know how bad ice cream is for you? Shame on you, eating ice cream at 11:30 in the morning!"

The 3 women stared back at her blankly, hoping that she'd just go away. I kept wishing one of them would scream, "Step back beeyoch! I am over sixty & I can eat a damn ice cream cone whenever the hell I want to!" (Being over 60, they can probably curse on national TV without repercussions -although I may just be making that up.)


Sadly, none of the women did this, they just continued to stare at her until she left to harass other people who were eating "equally dangerous" foods. Now it's one thing to sign up for a show like Biggest Loser & open yourself up to criticism, but it's another thing entirely to have someone ambush you in the food court while you are eating a hot soft pretzel from Auntie Ann's (mmm... pretzels). Seriously, what is this world coming to when you can't make food choices as an adult without criticism from complete strangers?


The segment came to a close with the trainer saying that people eat things like pizza and ice cream because they have low self esteem. She commented that if they could only look ahead to a healthier future for themselves they'd see that salad was a better option and they would give up those other terrible food choices.

I was like - Hey there trainer chick, I've got a news bulletin for you: pizza and ice cream are delicious! I promise that I'm not eating them due to low self esteem. There is no guarantee that I am going to live a really long life just because I eat salad instead of pizza. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and I'm telling you now, if I have the choice I am choosing pizza over salad as my final meal.

I used to have this friend who was constantly criticising the food I would prepare for dinner. Here's a typical conversation:

Her: What are you making for dinner tonight? I think I'm out of ideas...

Me: It's Taco night at the House of Crackers!

Her: You're not making beef tacos are you? That's sooo bad for you. I hope you're making turkey tacos. Please tell me you're not using ground beef.

Me: Well, we do turkey tacos sometimes, but tonight it's ground beef for us.

Her: Seriously Karen, you shouldn't be eating beef - it's soooo bad for you. I feed my family ground turkey all the time & they love it. They say they can't taste any difference and I feel good because I am feeding them something that's really healthy for them. We never eat beef anymore. You should really stop making it too.

At this point my eyes would start to cross & I'd bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying, "Back off there sister!"

I'm telling you, no matter what I was cooking she always had a better, more healthful way to prepare it. As you can imagine I learned after awhile just to tell her that I had no idea what I was making for dinner. It was just easier that way. (Oddly, the woman put more sugary treats into her children than anyone else I know. Every time I talked to her the kids were eating candy or ice cream.)

Now I know that as a country we have a serious weight problem. I'm not advocating the pizza and ice cream diet. I'm just saying that I think it's all about balance. For heavens sakes, my Great Grandma lived to be 103 years old and she had a love affair with butter her whole life. I think that as long as you make the effort to put healthy foods in front of your family most nights, there is nothing wrong with a little ice cream or pizza.

Speaking of which, my mouth is watering - guess what we're having for dinner tonight?

I telling you this though, it may be a long time before I can eat at a food court again without looking over my shoulder. Stupid Today Show!