Life Lessons from New York

When I was 16 years old, my parents allowed me to travel to New York for a summer to study art at Pratt University in Brooklyn. Looking back on it now, I honestly can't believe they let me loose in NYC for an entire summer. I think there were about 20 high school students enrolled in the program from all over the country. We were supervised in a very loose way by some college RA's who were living on campus attending summer school. They were just a few years older than us and trusted us to take care of ourselves (excuse me while I finish laughing a bit here).

Here I am outside of my apartment building in Brooklyn with my friend Myra. Why do I look so scary (I mean besides the braces and the bad hair)? Why am I so blotchy and what are those things all over my lips? Please see life lesson #6.

I attended art classes from 9-1 Monday through Wednesday. On Thursdays our professor took us into Manhattan on trips to museums and galleries. That left a lot of downtime for me to explore the city and get into trouble. The upside of this was that I learned a lot of valuable life lessons that summer which I feel compelled to share with you now:

1. If you leave your purse unattended in Brooklyn - it will most likely not be waiting for you when you return.

On the first day of class I left my new white and black vinyl Esprit purse chock full of traveler's checks and my only piece of identification in an unattended room while I wandered off to find something to sketch that "called to me". The purse was not there when I returned, much to my surprise (but to no one elses).

2. Even if you can't taste the grain alcohol in your Kool-aid, be advised consumption may cause numbness in your appendages.

The RA's who were "responsible" for us threw a party to welcome us to Pratt. Along with some salty snacks, they served us a giant vat of fruit punch spiked liberally with grain alcohol. Thankfully they warned us about the alcohol content in the juice & I only drank 1 glass. Unfortunately, since I was not a big drinker (as I was only 16 years old) the 1 glass I did have rendered my legs completely numb. You'll be glad to know that I was able to get myself back to my room under my own power. Once there I ate about 3 bananas under the impression that they would help my body neutralize the alcohol.

3. The appropriate response to the question "How do I look?" is NEVER "I think you kinda look like a hooker."

My friends decided that we should spend one night in Manhattan going to dance clubs. After we got dressed to go out on the town, my friend Kelly asked me what I thought about her dress and I gave her my honest opinion.

Strangely, she was offended to hear that I thought she resembled an underage street walker - go figure. As we went into the city that evening, I kept my eye out for the cops because I was sure she was going to be incarcerated. I learned later that you can't be arrested for bad fashion decisions (which is really a pity). Since I was deemed too young looking (and honestly I was just too plain chicken) I stayed behind in our room at the Marriott Marquis with another youngster while the rest of the gang went dancing. I am happy to say that despite my worst fears, my friend was not arrested for impersonating a prostitute that evening.

That's my friend Kelly on the left. Sadly, I have no photographic evidence of the "hooker" dress.

4. Subway doors do not always re-open when hitting an obstacle in their path. Sometimes they just stay closed and the train will start to move anyway.

In this instance the obstacle in the path of the doors was my body. One arm and leg were outside on the subway platform, the rest of my body including my head were still inside the train. One of the guys with me was a football player and happily he was really quick on his feet. He flagged down the conductor and got him to stop the train before any permanent damage was done. I still bear the scars of this experience. My minivan has automatic sliding doors and I have lost track of how many times a day I scream "Be careful! THE DOORS ARE CLOSING! Hurry. THE DOORS ARE CLOSING!"






5. Dan Fogelberg should have never dropped out of art school.


Oddly the man who taught me art that summer had been Dan's art teacher back when he was in college. To put it kindly, this professor was not a fan of Dan Fogelberg's music - at all. He often used Dan as an example of the tragedy that could befall us if we didn't continue with our pursuit of art. In his estimation, we were all just a small misstep away from becoming adult easy-listening recording artists. Only our devotion to our art would save us from this sad fate.

The only thing I have in common with Dan Fogelberg- a former art teacher.

6. They're not lying about that hole in the ozone layer.

I decided to test out the theory that the sunscreen is really a placebo by not wearing any for an entire day of fun at Jones Beach (sure this is a theory held by only a few people, but I felt the need to explore it anyway). If you don't know me, I will let you in on a little secret - I have virtually no pigment to my skin. My best friend's little brother used to refer to me as Snow White & Mr Crackers often refers to my skin tone as "fish belly white". I can tell you now that a day at the beach without sunscreen is a day where I will later be badly burned and have a heaping case of sun poisoning. Luckily for me, Pratt had an on call doctor who was able to help me out with a bunch of salves to alleviate some of the pain. Which reminds me...I probably need to make an appointment with my dermatologist for my annual skin check.

I'm sure I probably learned more that summer, but the lessons I listed above have stuck with me the longest. In all, that was probably one of the best summers of my teen years. I had a blast and learned a lot about myself that summer (I mean besides the fact that I was completely naive and should always wear sunscreen). To this day I am very thankful that my parents allowed me to go. I'm glad that my own two hooligans are both so young. Hopefully, that means I have at least 10 years before I have to start worrying about the crazy life lessons they'll be learning while out from under my watchful eye.