O Tannenbaum

Last Thursday we headed out to get our Christmas tree.

Every year I imagine our whole family driving out to a local farm to pick our own Christmas tree. I dream of us looking around at all the beautiful trees around us and settling on one that catches our collective eye. It is beautiful and full and fragrant.... And then we chop it down, strap it to the top of our minivan and haul it home where it will spend the rest of its short life decorated with white lights and sparkly ornaments.

But then as December comes, reality sets in. I look at our busy calendar and remember how cold December in Ohio can be. So instead of driving out to a farm, we head to our local home improvement super store to pick a tree.

Once at the store, a yearly pattern emerges. Mr. Crackers holds up a tree & says "What do you think?". Our son C is usually not even in the same row with us. He's typically running around, so hopped on Christmas tree fever that he can't even stand still long enough to look at any tree for more than 1.2 seconds. Meanwhile K is bundled up in her winter coat with her hat covering most of her eyes & the collar of her coat up over her nose. You can't really even see her face as she continually complains, "I'm cold!".

Once Mr. Crackers has the tree in his hands, I keep asking both kids, "What do think guys? Is this the one?" From the next aisle over C shouts "Yep, that's the one Mom". While K gives me a muffled, "I'm still cold! Can we go home?"

I try and give the tree a critical look while shouting "C, please come over here. Stay where I can see you please! Stop running around like a maniac!" Finally I say, "I feel like we should look at another one, before making our decision."

This goes on for about 15 minutes as Mr. Crackers continues to patiently hold up tree after tree while C runs around the store, K whines about the cold and I say, "Hmmm...I'm not sure this is the one. Maybe just one more."

Finally I reach a point where the whining and running start to wear on my patience and I decide that whatever tree Mr. Crackers is holding is the tree we are buying. Not necessarily because it is the prettiest or the most full. Simply because he is holding that particular tree when I decide it's time to go.

Thankfully, most of the time we've gotten pretty lucky. I mean, once you put lights and ornaments on a tree it typically looks really good, even if it isn't very full and has huge gaps that are missing branches. Put enough ornaments and lights on it, and usually looks just like every other Christmas tree we've ever had.

Once we bring the tree home, it is my job to put the lights on it each year. I am a crazy person about lights. I like a lot of lights on the tree, but I don't like to see the wires. I go nuts when I can see too many wires (insert Mommy Dearest joke here). Because of this lunacy it takes me a bit of time to get the lights on the tree. I blame this problem on my Dad who was afflicted with this same issue in my childhood. I remember waiting and waiting for what seemed like hours for him to get all of the lights on the tree. I also remember complaining about how long it took him to get the lights up.

So in a twist of irony and fate, I now do the same thing to my kids. Kind of... Since according to Mr. Crackers it is "EXTREMELY PAINFUL" to watch me put lights on the tree, I try to get the lights on when no one is around. That way, I get to take my time and be a true maniac about wrapping the strands of lights around each branch I come to. And the kids and Mr. Crackers don't have to watch me do it while continually asking, "are you done yet?" See, everybody wins!

Usually, putting the lights on the tree takes me a couple of hours. But since I am listening to Christmas music and am thoroughly wrapped up in the task, the time usually goes pretty quickly. This year though for some reason EVERY STRAND OF LIGHTS THAT WE OWN STOPPED WORKING! I know that sometimes I am prone to exaggeration, but I am telling you the truth. It was both incredibly frustrating and really odd. So, a job that normally takes 2 hours, took me ALL DAY!

Thankfully though last year we bought this tool:

O Light Keeper Pro Bulb Tester and Repair Tool, how I love thee!

Although it took quite a bit of time, my handy light repair tool and I finally got all but one of the strands working again. Admittedly there were quite a few bulbs out on each of the newly repaired strands, but since each strand had about 200 lights, they still glowed brightly. And honestly, I was just happy that I got the strands to work again. Now I know most normal people upon finding that their strands of lights were no longer working would just truck their hiney over to their local Target to buy new strands of lights, but as you now from reading this blog I am not normal.

So it was with a sense of pride (and also a bit of leftover frustration) that I finally announced to my family late in the afternoon that the lights were on and tree was ready to decorate.

We spent a really nice Friday evening decorating the tree and looking at all of our ornaments. While picking the tree may not have been a warm family moment, decorating the tree definitely falls into that category. Once we are done decorating, everyone shares with the family their favorite ornament and I think everyone's favorite changes every year. Decorating the tree is always one of my favorite things to do during the Christmas season. Maybe that is why I am such a lunatic about the lights.

As I came down the stairs the next morning, Mr. Crackers looked at me and said, "I have to tell you something. But first I want you to look me in the eye and take a deep calming breath. Are you calm?"

"Well, I was a moment ago before you started freaking me out What is going on?!"

"I just need you to be calm. Are you calm?"

"Holy cow! Just tell me what is happening! Is everyone OK?"

"Look at me. Just promise me you won't freak out."

"WHAT. IS. IT!"

" OK. Here it is. A strand of lights just went out on the Christmas tree".

"Oh. Is that all?! Geez, you had me really freaked out there for a second. I thought something awful had happened. A strand of lights huh? That's OK. Geez."

And it was. I'm not sure if that was his plan or not, but in terms of all of the terrible things that could have happened, the darkening of a strand of lights on the Christmas tree wasn't even a blip on my radar screen. So I may be a lunatic, but at least I have my priorities in order. Whew, dodged a bullet on that one.

Then two nights ago another strand blew out. Oh well. Our tree may be getting a bit darker, but it's still really beautiful.

Just remind me next year to get new lights.

Something's fishy

I'll start this post by telling you that sometime this past summer we took care of a fish for a neighbor/friend for about a week (I originally typed that we fishsat for a friend, but it looked really weird & I was pretty sure no one would understand what I was talking about). And despite all of the fun trips and activities we participated in the rest of the summer, the presence of a fish in our home for a week seems to be one of the biggest highlights in the recent life of my two hooligans.

For weeks after, we'd hear comments like, "When I grow up & I can have a pet of my own I want to get my very own fish." Really!? Most kids want a horse or something with fur. A fish? I would remind them that we have a very sweet dog at home & tell them how lucky they were to have her. But, in the usual way they would ignore my comment and continue to weave fanciful tales about their future lives of fish ownership.

They must come by this love of fish from their father. When Mr. Crackers and I started dating he had a 20 gallon aquarium set up in his living room. I'm sure there were fish in it, but honestly I can't remember them. For me, fish are occasionally interesting to watch, but they don't really seem like pets. I mean you can't pet them or play with them or really even interact with them in any way. I'm not really sure they should be considered pets. To me they really seem to fall into the same category as house plants. You know, something that requires a little bit of attention from time to time but really act more as a part of the general scenery.

That may be why we've never really had the fish tanks (and we have 3 that we have moved from house to house over the years) filled since we have had kids. There were years when I could barely keep a houseplant alive. Taking care of fish in addition to the kids and our 2 dogs seemed ridiculous.

But I seem to be the only member of the family that feels that way.

About two weeks ago, while I was busy upstairs on the computer (Christmas shopping, not really working) Mr. Crackers and the hooligans started to quietly pull our 20 gallon tank out of the basement crawl space and get it ready for fish. By the time I came downstairs the kids were vibrating with excitement about the prospect of owning their own fish. Their dreams were finally coming true!

That Sunday after church we headed to our local pet store to get the fish. Everyone got to pick out a few and we came home with a total of 7 fish and a crab (the crab was my pick). We also joined the fish of the month club. Who knew such a thing existed? Apparently for just $2.99 we now get to come back to the store every month and get a free fish to add to the tank. Can you think of another "pet" that you can purchase by the dozen for just $2.99?! I'm telling you I don't think I'm the only one who thinks of them more as scenery.

Once we were home the fish were eased into their new aquarium and were promptly named. K named her guppies Angel, Angelina and Katie. C chose Cameron, Sweetie Pie and Snowbell for his orange fish (not to be confused with goldfish). Mr. Crackers picked Frank the Tank for his picasimus. And I dubbed the crab Milo.

In the days that followed both Angel and Frank left us for the big fish tank in the sky. Apparently it's pretty common for a lot of fish deaths in the early stages of aquarium ownership. Something about the "nitrogen cycle". My brain shuts down upon hearing anything involving chemical reactions, so I'm not sure I completely understand what is happening. But, thankfully Mr. Crackers knew it was coming and had warned the kids about it before we even got the fish home, so their deaths were not at all traumatic. Whew! And even better, the store has a return policy on all their fish, so we were able to get a store credit for the 2 that died. Wahoo!

The kids have had a really good time watching the fish. They'll sit there and stare into the tank for long periods of time just watching them swim around. I have to admit that I am also having fun with our new "pets". While I still find the fish a little boring (especially now that I don't have to count them a few times a day to make sure they are all still alive), I find owning a crab to be fairly interesting especially since Milo (the crab) seems to be an extreme recluse.

It's like a live version of where's Waldo. It takes me at least 3-5 minutes to find Milo every morning. A few times we've actually resorted to taking the castle out of the tank and turning it upside down to find him. And both Mr. Crackers and I have caught him hanging out at the top of the tank like he's poised for escape. The crabs in the store were all out and about having fun. It was like a giant crab party in the tank. Perhaps Milo is lonely. Maybe we'll have to use our store credit to buy him a friend.

But for now Milo, Sweetie Pie, Snowbell, Cameron, Katie and Angelina will have to wait. We've still got a couple of weeks until the "nitrogen cycle" is complete and we can add more friends to the tank.

In the meantime I'll just thank my lucky stars that we didn't have to care for my neighbor's cat.

simple color

Ta-da!

Here's a preview of this year's Christmas card.

I took the picture when we were outside decorating the big tree & Mr. Crackers & I liked it so much that we decided to go with it as our card this year. And as an added bonus Mr. Crackers & I (and even more importantly our family photograper -- also known as my Dad) all get to take a year off trying to get all 4 of us to look in the right direction while smiling. A task that often took few glasses of wine to recover from.

In Living Color Christmas Card

Shop Shutterfly for elegant custom Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

I even managed to get it ordered before December (by the skin of my teeth). Now I just need to get them in the mail...

Thankful

Today I am thankful for more than I can possibly say. The older I get, the more I realize how truly blessed I am. I am grateful for my health, the smiles and laughter of my children, the love of my husband, the strength of my family, and the friendships of those whom I see everyday as well as those that are separated from me by miles.

I am thankful for friends who have come home safely to their families after bravely serving their country overseas and grateful to all those I don't know who are still serving so far away from their loved ones.

I am thankful that I live in a country that celebrates the freedom of its citizens and sets aside a day each year so that we can remember how truly blessed we are.

Happy Thanksgiving from the House of Crackers!

All clear

For about the last 11 months I've had stomach pains. They were somewhat intermittent and although sometimes painful, never seemed quite so bad as to warrant a special trip to the doctor. Just when I would consider seeking some medical help the pains would subside for a bit & I'd get on with other things.

Over the course of the past year I have slowly figured out some of the things that exacerbated the problem and did my best to eliminate them from my diet. I was very sad when I discovered that coffee, Coke, alcohol and spicy foods were some of the worst culprits. My abbreviated diet made feel like I was pregnant again -- but without the frequent peeing, weight gain, and childbirth that usually accompany a real pregnancy.

I found a couple of over the counter medications that seemed to help a little bit, but over the long haul the problems kept coming back. So, on a visit to my doctor for a separate issue a few weeks back I mentioned my ongoing stomach battles.

I guess I figured my doctor would prescribe something or give me the green light to take Prevacid everyday (being a rule follower, I didn't want to take it for more than the 2 weeks that are recommended on the bottle without a doctor's go ahead). Instead, I was told that I would be getting a call from a GI doctor and that I would be the lucky recipient of both an upper GI endoscopy and a colonoscopy! Wahoo! Apparently my family history was a deciding factor in going for the whole work up. As my new GI doc said,"You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family history." Bah-dum-dum!

The fateful day of my digestive adventure (this is what I will be calling my procedures from here on out since it sounds more daring and less like something that was done to me while I lay unconscious on a table) was Wednesday of this week.

Unlike some people in my family (& I'm looking at you Mr. Crackers) the part I was dreading was not taking the laxatives and cleaning out the pipes. No, what I was dreading was the day of clear liquids before the cleaning even started. You see, I'm a grazer. I eat all day long. I never seem to be able to eat a lot at any one sitting, but you can bet that about every couple of hours I'm looking for something else to stuff into my pie hole. So, the idea of not being able to eat anything substantial for an entire day had me in a bit of a tizzy. I mean really, I'm the person who eats all the noodles and chicken in a bowl of chicken noodle soup and leaves the broth behind. A day of nothing but jello, broth and hard candies sounded a bit like torture to me.

Where's all the good stuff?

When I originally scheduled my digestive adventure (see, it sounds better than colonoscopy doesn't it?) I had a few requirements: I wanted a day when I wasn't driving the carpool in the morning and one that was immediately proceeded by a day where I've got a lot going on. It just so happens that Tuesdays, especially Tuesday mornings are really busy, so I scheduled the adventure for Wednesday morning figuring that all that activity the day prior would keep my mind occupied.

Little did I know that both of my kids would get sick and that we would be spending all of Tuesday in the house together. And since the kids were lying on the couch watching TV in a somewhat vegetative state that my "busy day" would turn into a very long, very quiet day.

As you can imagine, I was doing everything I could -- cleaning, laundry, reading books -- to keep my mind off food. I eventually had to hide the cookies since I found myself clutching the bag several times almost involuntarily. The only upside was that since the kids were sick enough to spend the whole day on the couch, they were safe from my increasing crankiness. And trust me, I was getting really cranky. I was having daydreams about cheeseburgers. And it was just about agonizing to sit with the family watching them eat Chinese take-out for dinner while I forced down more clear broth while trying to pretend it was really chicken fried rice. Sadly, my imagination just wasn't that good.

I won't go into the details of the evening before my digestive adventure began (I hear you thanking me from here), but I will say that I really didn't get more than a few hours of sleep. Except for the lack of sleep, the process itself wasn't bad at all and as a perk I finally got to take advantage of the fact that we still subscribe to HBO. I have to say I got lucky and there were some really good movies on at 3:30 Wednesday morning.

By the time the sun started to rise, my preoccupation with food had been replaced by a new worry...anesthesia. I have luckily never been sedated before and was secretly terrified that I would be the 1 person in 100000 who would go under, have a reaction to the anesthesia and never wake up again. I knew myself well enough not go and do any research on the subject online. Past early morning Webmd research jaunts have proven that I have a tendency to overreact and focus on the worst possible scenario I find. Once the kids were up, the rest of the morning flew by and thankfully I didn't have time to worry about the risks of sedation.

Before I knew it I was at the doctor's office and found myself being called back to get ready for my digestive adventure. They had me undress and change into a giant hospital gown, yet for some reason had me keep my shoes and socks on. I'm sure I must have looked as weird as I felt wearing my a hospital gown along with brown socks and brown suede shoes. I felt a bit like a flasher especially since the hospital gown was about 5 sizes too big and despite all the fasteners I had to keep a death-like grip on the front to avoid flashing the nurses and all of the other patients in various states of consciousness.

I laid down in the bed and they put in an IV and rolled me into the procedure room. Once there, they told me they were going to mix a little "medicine" in with my oxygen and that I should make sure to breathe through my nose. I had a moment of worry, then I took one deep breath and said "Wow you aren't messing around, this stuff really packs a punch." And then after that, everything else is a blank.

Thankfully my Mom was there, because apparently (although I don't remember the conversation since I was still a little out of it from the anesthesia) the doctor met with me after the procedure and informed me that everything looked good. Whew! I was in the clear - no ulcers or other issues. It looks like my stomach just produces too much acid so I was given a prescription to take everyday to control it.

The next thing I can remember is getting back into my Mom's car and requesting that she drive as quickly as possible to the nearest Arby's -- even though I had been dreaming of cheeseburgers I wasn't sure my system could handle all that grease. And besides, I just can't get enough of that French Dip and Swiss sandwich. Whoever came up with that one is an evil genius!
I've been on the new meds for a few days & so far they really seem to work well. So, I guess in the end I got what I wanted: a prescription for something that is safe for me to take everyday. I guess I just had to go through a bit of an adventure to get them. With medicine in hand I feel like I'm finally ready to take on all of the holiday feasting this season...which is definitely something to be thankful for.

Where the wild things are

Last weekend we went on a short getaway about 2 hours east of where we live. The area is home to quite a few state parks that have great hiking trails for families along with some really beautiful natural attractions like caves and waterfalls. We rented a cabin online a few weeks before and all of us, including my parents who were coming along, were excited for some family fun.





The cabin was really cute and managed to look better in person than it did on the internet . It was clean, well built and really cozy. The only thing that was a little startling was the amount of creatures that called the cabin home. None of them were still living, which I guess is a good thing. Honestly if I have to cohabitate in an enclosed space with animals like black bears and bobcats, I'd really rather they were dead than alive. But I guess I just wasn't really expecting to see quite so many dead things in such a small space.



When we entered the cabin the first thing I noticed were the 2 bear skins hanging over my head. Now truthfully, there was a picture of the bear skins on the internet, but I thought they were those cute fake rugs that you buy in stores that look like bear skins. For some reason it never occurred to me that they would be real.

Surprise! They were. They were really real. It became clear to all of us pretty quickly, that the owners of the cabin were AVID (some might even argue obsessive) hunters. There were deer heads everywhere.




There were also several stuffed birds and an animal that may have been a bobcat. Most of the animals had tags with names written on them. Whether they indicated who shot them or who stuffed them I really couldn't tell you.



The walls that weren't covered in actual animal hides, featured pictures of people posing with dead animals. Since neither I nor any of my family go hunting, it was an interesting and somewhat frightening glimpse into the family who had so graciously rented us their cabin for the weekend.

And just in case we were still curious about the owners of the cabin, there was also a photo album on one of the coffee tables that featured pictures of the family. There were photos of the construction of the cabin, as well as a lot more hunting pictures featuring many, many more dead deer. Let me just tell you that this family is doing more than their part to help control the deer overpopulation here in Ohio. They are certainly not resting on their laurels and wasting all of their outdoor time hiking and looking at waterfalls like a certain family I know.

But really, the most disturbing thing I saw in the photo album wasn't a dead animal. It was several photos of 2 boys just about a year older than C smoking cigars and holding shotguns.

Now every family has their own idea of what makes a fun leisure time activity. But seriously, arming my kids and then letting them light up cigars has really never occurred to me. I'm not saying that their choices are bad. I'm just saying that the idea of handing my own children a shotgun seems unwise. And the cigar smoking thing. Umm...just no.

It occurred to me several times over the weekend that these were people who you probably did not want to anger. It was a case of...I'm pretty positive that your family can shoot, kill and stuff beat up my family. And while our paths probably wouldn't cross too much in our everyday lives, I realized that these would be excellent people to befriend in the event of some kind of nation-wide crisis that would force people to live off the land and fend for themselves.

I'm thinking of a Red Dawn type of situation. You know where the Russians and Cubans team up to invade our country and cut-off all food supplies... And we are forced to rely on Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell and Jennifer Grey to battle back the Communist forces that threaten our great nation. Since I'm not really liking our chances in that kind of scenario, I'm just saying that I want to live near this family 'cause I know I'm not going to go hungry.

Anyhoo...despite that abundance of animals inside the cabin, we didn't really get to see any living wildlife on any of our weekend hiking adventures (not even a bird). Of course we did hear quite a bit of gunfire in the distance. I think hunting season may have started, which means all of the smart animals are probably taking a mini-vacation somewhere else.

But even with the lack of wildlife, we saw a lot of beautiful things,

And went on some really fun hikes,


And most important of all had a lot of fun just hanging out together.

Especially (at least for Mr. Crackers and the Cracker children) while relaxing in the cabin's hot tub.

So, thank you AVID hunting family where ever you are. We had a lot of fun in your cabin. And don't worry we cleaned up after ourselves. We didn't want to do anything to anger you, after all chances are you would make much better friends than enemies. And, at least until Charlie Sheen gets his act together, we may need you and your fearsome hunting skills some day!

The past 7 weeks in review

Well...I have to admit that the last seven or so weeks have been a complete blur. I seem to forget every year that, at least around the House of Crackers, October is the new December. For some reason the month of October seems even more hectic than December with all it's holiday filled craziness.

And while I know there are a lot of people out there who can lead very busy lives and still find time to blog, I think you already know that I am not one of those people. When life is running at a hundred and fifty miles per hour, taking time for blogging seems to find itself at the very bottom of my to do list. But life, at least for the moment, has slowed down a bit and I have a little time to breathe once again.

In case you are wondering what had the House of Crackers hopping around like maniacs for the past month and a half, here's a small sampling of the goings on.

We were busy running to soccer practices and soccer games....

And going on a family trip to the zoo...

With Grandma and Grandpa

And did I mention we were busy playing soccer ....

And going to a local farm for some pumpkin picking...

And celebrating K's 5th birthday party with family...

And at a separate party for neighborhood friends (that for some reason I decided to design myself)...

And heading to a soccer tournament game in which C's team played their hearts out, but still lost ...

And attending school Halloween parties...

And fighting crime...

And a host of other things like school presentations, multiple trips to the dentist for C's ongoing tooth crowding issues and a couple of small redecorating projects around the house.

We definitely had fun over the past month or so, but I am happy that things have slowed down a bit. And thankful that, at least for a couple weeks until the craziness of Thanksgiving and Christmas come knocking at our door, we have a little time to slow down and enjoy the glory and crispness of my favorite season.