I promise I haven't killed anyone lately

Yesterday afternoon my hooligans and I were goofing around in the playroom. C had been performing a musical medley of his own creation when he decided to stop the racket the concert and instead pass his microphone to me so that I could "interview" him. I loved this idea and started asking C questions designed to tickle the funny bone of a 6 year old (this, as you know if you have a 6 year old, is a pretty easy task). Much of the usual shenanigans ensued, none of which I remember now, but it had us both chuckling.

Then it was K's turn to be interviewed so I turned to her and asked, "So Missy Pants, can you tell me a little bit about your family?"

"Yes," she replied, "they all like to say bad words - a lot!"

"What do you mean?" I asked "What words are you talking about?" (At this point I am holding my breath a bit not sure if I really want to hear what will come out of her mouth next.)

"They all say stupid all the time." she replied


"No they don't." I said. "I know your family well & I'm sure they don't say that all the time. That's one of our bad words, you know that. We don't say that word, it isn't nice"

"I know. But they say it all the time. Also, my Mom and Dad like killing people. It's fun!"

Umm....what??!! I have no idea where this came from. She then started to dance around while I tried to explain that her father & I truly haven't killed anyone lately ever. But by then, she had moved onto something else and was predictably not hearing a word I said.

C shot me a look that said "Sisters, aren't they just a kick in the head?" I just shrugged & decided to start cooking dinner . As I climbed the stairs to the kitchen I began to wonder if she was telling anyone else about our family's "darker" side.


This morning after I dropped her off at school, I discovered that my concerns were well founded. As I was exiting the building one of the teachers said to me, "K and I were talking all about C last week. How does he like kindergarten?"


"Oh, he just loves it." I replied.


"I'm so glad." she responded. "K and I were discussing him & she was cracking me up. She told me how he likes to hit her all the time. I told her that I was sure he didn't hit her all the time and she looked me right in the eye and said, "Yes he does! He hits me and says bad words every day!""



Oh geez! I guess I should be thankful that she didn't inform the teacher about Mr Crackers' and my penchant for murder.


Luckily, this teacher has raised 3 kids of her own and has been a pre-school teacher for about 15 years, so she knows the score. Thank goodness.



Now I just have to keep K away from other people until I have a chance to deprogram her. Seriously, I can already picture her in the line at Target confessing all of crimes and atrocities committed by her family. I am expecting Children and Family Services at my door any day now.