Revising my expectations

So it's been more than two weeks since my last post. You are probably thinking, "Mrs. Crackers I thought you said you'd do a better job of keeping up with your blog once your kids went back to school! What's the problem? Just what are you doing with your time?"


Umm...good question. You see, I thought I'd have buckets of down time once the kids got to school. I had fantasized using that time to accomplish all sorts of feats. I imagined I'd be living in a clean and clutter free house and that I would have plenty of time to do all of my laundry, iron it & put it away in the proper drawers. I thought I would be filling all of my new free-time with all sorts of worthwhile pursuits like:

1. Getting my endurance levels back up by running 3-4 times a week so I could prepare for an upcoming race.

2. Focusing myself into learning web design - my aspirational career once the kiddos are both in school full-time.

3. Planning out weekly menus again & spending more (child-free) time in the grocery store so that I didn't leave forgetting half of the items that I needed (like I normally do).

4. Redecorating the dining room, kid's bathroom & the office

5. Posting daily blogs & keeping up with all of my favorite bloggers.

6. Organizing all of my photos on the computer & correcting the ones that still need a little help.


I'll just stop listing all of my plans at this point, since I am starting to depress myself with all of the things that I now know I won't be accomplishing anytime soon.

It's clear to me now that I must've been smoking crack if I thought I'd come close to getting even 1 item on the list accomplished these goals weren't all that realistic. You see, it turns out I am childless for a mere 6 hours a week (less than that if you count the commuting time to & from school). When you also factor in that I have volunteered at my son's school to work in the library as well as assisting with some of the art classes, it is suddenly apparent that I must have had a screw loose if I thought I was going to have a lot of down time on my hands. (I won't even bore you with the details of our extra-curricular activities that sounded like fun during the lazy days of summer but that are now causing us to spend our evenings running around like crazy people.)

So, it's time to deal with the reality that I am not living in the clean & clutter free house of my imaginings. My laundry isn't getting done any more quickly than it was this summer & the ironing (let's not even talk about the ironing OK?!) isn't even close to being complete.

Luckily, the kids both love school & I have found a little time to squeeze in a few good runs over the past couple of weeks. Maybe it's not what I had originally planned, but for now it's good enough for me. I'll save all those grand plans for next fall when K starts Pre-Kindergarten & I'll have 10 whole hours of down-time. It's those extra 4 hours that will make all the difference, right?

1 dozen years

Today, Mr. Crackers & I celebrate 12 years of wedded bliss. As Mr. Crackers pointed out in the car yesterday, that's 84 years together in dog years. Yep, twelve long years. I have to say that the last 12 years have been good ones. Sure, there have been fights, misunderstandings, name calling, and stress filled moments, but overall I feel blessed to have met & married such a good man who is also a great husband, friend and father.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I thought I'd do a small photo montage from our wedding day back in 1997.


We'll start off with the traditional bride & groom shot. Look at those two skinny youngsters will ya? That's us, 12 years and 5 10 , OK probably more than 15 pounds lighter.

There are my girls...Kelly, KK, Linda & Michelle. I'm happy to say I still keep in touch with all of 'em. Lovely ladies, aren't they? And I'm sure all of them wore that bridesmaid dress again and again - it was so versatile. Right?

The men! Other than the gentleman on the far right (my father in-law & Mr. Crackers' best man) we honestly don't hear from these guys too often. They are a handsome group though...

Since this is a photo montage, I'd be remiss if I didn't note here that our photographer was a really nice man, but a bit of a nut job. He was an older gentleman, -I'd put him somewhere in his early to mid 70's when he shot the pictures for our wedding. I liked him a lot, but you can tell that he really hit his photography stride in the mid 1970's. If you doubt me, please look at the next couple of pictures & see what you think. Many of our wedding pictures feel more like we got married in 1977, instead of 1997.

I think his strongest influences may have came from film...

Saturday Night Fever was probably a favorite of his...

As were the Godfather films. Geez, is it just me or does this look like a mafia wedding?

Of course, even though he may have had strong stylistic influences that pre-date my wedding, he did a bang up job of catching all the fun at the reception.

Mr. Crackers' family has a tradition that must be performed at every family wedding. They request Tina Turner's classic Rolling on the River & then they all lay down on the dance floor and roll around. They also hit the decks for the song Rock Lobster from the B-52's. I'm not sure which song is being played in this picture, but it seems like everyone's having a rip roaring time.

Even Mr. Crackers got in on the action... Step back ladies, he's taken!

One thing I remember clearly about the wedding (although most of it is honestly just a blur) is the fact that instead of clinking glasses, people had to serenade us if they wanted us to kiss during the reception. I can't remember whose genius idea this was, but I was really happy to avoid the constant sound of silver being clanked against glassware. It was a blast, and we heard all kinds of songs ranging from the Barney theme song to favorites of the WWII crowd. In the picture above my friends from high school belted out my Alma Mater's fight song. Not to be outdone, Mr. Crackers' friends returned the favor with their fight song 15 minutes later (of course it needs to be said that I think my friends did a much better job. Of course they were working with a better fight song. Biased? Who, me?). Romantic? Not really, but it was a lot of laughs.

Looking back through the pictures from that day reminds me of how much fun we had at our wedding -- but the 12 years since have been even better. I can't think of the right words to sum up all of the joy that has come from our time together -- two beautiful children, a comfortable home close to both of our families, a forever friend to share my life with. All I can think to say is ...Thank you for twelve wonderful years Mr. Crackers. I love you very much!

All buttoned up

Since today was picture day at school (they've only been in school 3 days -- does this seem a bit early to anyone else or I am the only one?), the kids were allowed to be out of uniform. I picked out a solid red polo for C to wear & figured when it came time for K's picture I'd dress her in a solid red shirt too so their outfits would kind of coordinate (at least that's my theory...chances are I will completely forget about this on K's picture day).

I went into C's room to check how he was progressing with the morning dressing ritual & to see if I needed to do any work on his hair - the poor kid has perpetual bed head. I'm not normally into styling my kids hair, which is why C usually heads to school looking like he got his fingers stuck in an electrical outlet. It just seemed like on picture day I should at least try to get most of his hair pointing in the same direction.

As I entered his room, I noticed that he had his polo shirt completely buttoned up all the way to the top. I've noticed he's been doing this all week with his uniform shirts, but I haven't said anything. I figured his fashion choices are pretty limited by the uniform, so if he wants to express himself by buttoning on up, that's OK by me.

Since it was picture day, I asked him to please unbutton the top button for me. It seemed like such a simple request. I had no idea that it would bring on the emotional breakdown that occured just as the question left my lips. The boy completely lost it & started sobbing "I don't like it that way! I want all the buttons closed! I don't like it when the buttons are all done!"

I have to tell you that the tears went on for at least 10 minutes. Finally, I gave up trying to reason with him & asked him to please remember to unbutton the top button right before he got his picture taken (now I don't really believe that he's going to do it, but at least I can say I tried...). He agreed he'd "try to remember" & I finally let the subject drop. I mean, if this is the look he wants, who am I to squelch his self expression? Oh yeah, now I remember...I'm the idiot who yesterday sent in a form where I agreed sight unseen to buy $39.00 worth of school pictures this year. Hmm...

Once the tears were over I took him into the bathroom to wet down his hair a bit to minimize the "alfalfa effect" & we headed downstairs to wait for Mrs. S to pick him up for school. Right as she was pulling in the driveway, C looked at me & said. "Geez I almost forgot to tuck in my shirt".

"That's OK honey, just leave it out - it looks good." I was thinking that maybe the untucked shirt kind of compensated for the uptight look he was sporting on top.

He just rolled his eyes at me in a pitying fashion, "No Mom - we're supposed to tuck in our shirts"

He then proceeded to tuck his shirt in so tightly that I'm not sure he'll be able to raise his hand in class today. When I tried to loosen it up a bit he jumped out of reach & said, "Mom! You're ruining it! Stop!" and then repaired all the perceived damage I had done.

He then gave me a wave good-bye & hopped into the van.

I can't wait to see the pictures in a couple weeks. I have a feeling he's going to resemble a younger, whiter version of this guy:

Thankfully, he doesn't own any suspenders.

It was a great first day of school until Mommy made me cry...

Yesterday was C's first day of school. This year he's in first grade - honestly, I can't believe he's such a big boy. Where has the time gone? Even though he can really drive me nuts sometimes, I just wasn't ready for him to be gone all day.

He, on the other hand, was completely ready to go. He's been looking forward to first grade with the same kind of excitement usually reserved for vacations or new Lego sets. In fact, he was so pumped up for his first day that he was dressed and ready to go 35 minutes before we had to leave the house. So much for my unfounded worries that it would be difficult getting him up and going in the morning..

As I packed his lunch for the first day, I put a little note in his lunch bag that said "Hope you are having a great day! Love, Mom" This seemed like the kind of thing a good Mom would do. I wasn't willing to cut his sandwich into the shape of a star or smiley face - that type of super Mom activity is a little beyond my capabilities - but I thought he'd get a kick out of the note since he's doing such a good job of reading now. I taped it onto the bag holding his salami & cheese sandwich & placed it in his brand new red lunch bag.

When we got to school in the morning, he asked me to walk him to his room. The request surprised me a bit, but I think it was more to ensure he found the right classroom than it was an emotional need for the security of having his Mom close by. I know this because as soon as I told him we were approaching his classroom he took off without a look back or a goodbye. I shouted out "I love you! Have a good day" to his rapidly shrinking back but didn't get any response except for a smile from his new teacher.

K & I then headed back to the car for a morning of running errands around town. We finished up right at 12:00 and headed home for the quietest lunch I've had in months. It was strange having my oldest (and most talkative) child missing from the table. It was even stranger eating an entire meal without having to say "please keep your bottom in the chair" or "use your napkin not your shirt" or "please stop talking, burping, growling, singing, etc.... and eat." I imagined him in the school cafeteria at a long table filled with friends laughing, burping & making fake farting noises. I was sure he was having a great time.

When I picked him up from school I asked him how his day was.

His first words to me were, "You know Mom, I cried today at school. I missed you"

What?! I couldn't believe it! This child has never ever cried over my absence! Not when he was at daycare, not when the babysitter comes over, not in his 2 years of preschool or during the entire year of kindergarten. In fact, he almost always seems thrilled, almost giddy, that I am finally leaving. I wasn't sure how to take this news...

"What happened Buddy? Why did you cry?"

"Well, I was eating my lunch & I saw your note. I read it & it made me think about you and miss you... so I cried."

"Oh honey, I am so sorry!! I just wanted to wish you a good day, I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"OK, no more notes though Mom. OK?"

"OK, got it. No more notes."

I then passed out some pretzels to the other boys in the carpool so they could have a snack to eat on the way home. C declined his bag of pretzels & said "I still have a bunch of food in my lunch bag. I'll just eat some of that."

I said, "Were you too excited to eat? Did you not have enough time to get it all eaten?"

"No, I just spent a lot of my lunchtime crying & then I when I was done, I really didn't feel like eating much."

Nice move Mom! Just chalk it up to another smooth move by yours truly. Oh well. Nothing like making your child cry on his first day of school to make you feel a like a really great monster mother. Yes Mom, I loved school & I was having a great time meeting new friends and playing until YOU MADE ME CRY!

I have no doubt that this one's going to come up during some therapy session in his future adulthood. Hmm...I have a feeling this is just one of many times to come when my good intentions will go horribly awry. Parenthood...good times, good times.


Needless to say, I was thrilled when he informed me he was going to buy his lunch today at school.

Squeezing the last bit of fun out of summer...

As you no doubt have noticed, I took a nice long vacation from blogging. It was due only in part to my efforts at ousting the criminal element from Gotham City. Mostly, I was busy trying to keep the kids entertained in these last weeks of summer now that day camps and vacations have faded into memory.


With school starting in just 2 weeks, we've been busy squeezing the last bit of fun out of summer while trying to get ourselves back onto some kind of schedule. So far the fun still seems to be taking up more of our time than the actual schedule following...


We took our final road trip of the summer last weekend to visit some really good friends of ours who abandoned us, fled 8 hours away to escape the wackiness of our family, moved to Pennsylvania a couple of years ago. It's so hard to find a family with kids that are the same ages as your own & who all get along well together. It's nearly impossible to do that & find a couple who share the same interests you do & whom you like to drink with hang around with. Seriously, it's so hard that even if you move 8 hours away from us, we will find you in your new home & pay you a visit.





It was great to see that the kids still really love to spend time together. We had a great weekend that included a visit to a children's amusement park, bowling, outlet shopping, Amish barbecue (I can't say that can I recommend it), some video gaming and a couple of late night drinking binges Sequence tournaments (I'm proud to say that I think the ladies took the series).

It's good to know that friends are friends no matter how far apart you live. My two hooligans have already starting asking when we will see them again. When I asked them what their favorite part of the weekend was, they both told me "everything!" I agree.

I can't talk now, I've got to go save Gotham City

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I have a limited amount of "free time" each week to blog or do other important things like cleaning the bathrooms, doing the laundry, ironing, weeding the garden, staring off into space, etc... During the summer months I seem to have even less time to engage in these pursuits than I do during the school year. It makes perfect sense then that I have added one more thing more to my to-do list. I am engaged in the important battle to save Gotham City from evil doers.

Yes, it's true. I have wrestled the Wii remote away from Mr. Crackers & our young son C so that I could play a bit of Lego Batman. The Wii is usually a "weekend only" treat around our house. Mr. Crackers & C will typically spend a little quality time on a weekend afternoon helping Indiana Jones recover lost treasure, or using the force to fight the Empire for control of the galaxy.

I blame my recent addiction on the rain that fell on the the 4th of July. Since all of our cookout plans had been cancelled, we stayed close to home & most of the family decided to take a nap. While the house was quiet, I decided to pick up a remote & try my hand at Batman. I can see now why C is always asking if he can play Wii. It's like crack. Once you try it, you feel the need for more.

Luckily there really isn't much time for me to play the game. Usually, I wait until the kiddos have gone to bed before I start flirting with the caped crusader. Lately, Mr. Crackers has started joining me on these evening missions to fight crime. We make quite the dynamic duo.

So, I'm sorry for the lack of updates around the House of Crackers. I promise to get you all caught up again once I rid Gotham of its criminal element (& I catch up on the weeding, laundry, ironing, etc...)

A different kind of 4th of July

Yes, I know I'm about 5 days late with my recap of our 4th of July weekend shenanigans. Cut me a little slack though if you could. My niece and nephew have been visiting this week & we've been trying to squeeze as much playtime with them as possible while we can.

While I've got a little down time this afternoon, I thought I'd fill you in on the 4th of July weekend here at the House of Crackers.

It all started the evening of July 3rd when Mr. Crackers decided to set up the tent so he and the kids could have their first camp out of the year. Unfortunately Mrs. Crackers doesn't have a sleeping bag (shh...I know I could've improvised or even made a dash to Target for one. Honestly though, I camped a lot as a child and I'd much rather sleep in my own bed.)

According to Mr. Crackers, the kids slept well all night long. He knew this since the chair covers he used as bedding didn't quite provide the amount of padding he was expecting. He most of the night awake trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in so he could therefore verify our children's ability to sleep peacefully in seemingly any environment.

I, like the children, also slept well that night. Of course that's probably because I was in our air conditioned home sleeping in my own bed. Thanks for taking one for the team Mr. Crackers!




In the morning, we headed to a neighboring town for their 4th of July parade. For seemingly no reason (except for my own ignorance) we parked about 1 mile from the parade site (seriously, who knew they'd be so many convenient places to park right next to the parade!). We'll just go ahead and say that the long walk to the parade provided us with a nice bit of exercise, especially since we (and by we I mean Mr. Crackers) had to lug our 4 camp chairs up hill and then fight through the throngs of people to try and get to a spot where the kids had a fighting chance of seeing the parade go by...
We do love a parade. Usually the marching bands are our favorite part. This parade was even more special because our good friend Elizabeth was marching in it. In fact I was so excited to see her, I completely forgot to get her picture.

But nothing, not even Elizabeth (sorry Elizabeth), could match the sheer joy my hooligans felt at unexpected sight of Stormtroopers...

and Darth Vader!

I thought C and K were going to come out of their skin with excitement. I have no idea who these people were or why they were in the parade commemorating the birth of our country. I can only thank them & tell them that they improved on our parade experience in a way not even seeing a good friend could match.

Once the parade ended, we headed back to the house to dismantle the tent before the afternoon rains came and dampened the rest of our original plans for the holiday.


We had several invitations to outdoor cookouts from neighbors, but once the rain hit & the kids and Mr. Crackers went down for some well deserved afternoon naps, we changed our plans a bit.

That night instead of grilled burgers and hot dogs, we went out for Indian food at one of our favorite restaurants. After a delicious meal of tandoori chicken & tikka saag, we decided to bypass sitting in the relentless drizzle waiting for fireworks and instead headed home for something even more exciting.... movie night featuring Star Wars (episode 4).

Happy Belated 4th of July. May the force be the with you.