A farewell to (Cincinnati) chili.

A conversation with my stomach:

First, let me say that I am so very sorry for the way I treated you yesterday afternoon at lunch. I am almost 39 years old & I should know better than to try and feed you a plate full of Cincinnati chili with a mound of cheddar cheese on top.

You're right...I'm not a kid anymore. OK, I'll give you that point too, adding the hot sauce on top was just asking for trouble. But, I still don't know why you tortured me all evening.

No, I don't know why they call it "chili". You're right, it bears no resemblance to the chili I fed you while we were growing up together. I know! Cinnamon should never be an ingredient in chili, I agree! It's an acquired taste, you know that. After all, it took us years just to be able to find the stuff palatable. No, I don't know why they put it on spaghetti and then top it with 2 pounds of cheddar cheese. All I do know is that people from Cincinnati just can't get enough of the stuff. I know we don't live in Cincinnati, but people here must like the stuff too or else there wouldn't be 5 of those restaurants within 10 miles of our home.

I could blame Mr. Crackers and his Cincinnati roots for forcing me to eat the chili, but both you and I know that I walked into that restaurant willingly, even eagerly, to feast upon the chili after 2 rousing games at the bowling alley. Thanks - I couldn't believe I won both games either! I know both Mr. Crackers & our friend M were also both surprised. Yes, I'm sure I would have done just as well even if we weren't playing with bumpers on the side. Is that a laugh I heard? Are you laughing at me?

But, seriously, did you have to punish me all day & into the wee hours of the morning for eating the stuff? What? I did take Tums! I took about 8 tablets, don't you remember? Nothing though seemed to shake the feeling that I had a burning hot rock of lava sitting in my gut! For goodness sakes, I couldn't even enjoy the stew that I made for dinner. That stew took me over 4 hours to make - couldn't you give a girl a break!?

How 'bout this? If I vow not to darken the door of that chili place again, will you have a conversation with the intestines on my behalf & tell them to go easy on me later today? Seriously, I could really use a break from you guys on this. OK, OK...I'll throw in a couple of pieces of chocolate. Boy, you drive a hard bargain.

So, do we have a deal?

Thanks!

Oh, and one other thing. Could you speak to my metabolism for me? It seems to be slowing down a bit. I think I am starting to put on a little extra padding in my mid-section. No, I'm sure it has nothing to do with all the cookies I ate over Christmas! What?! It's 14 degrees outside! You can't possibly expect me to go jogging now. What did you say? A gym?

Well, umm...I've gotta go. I think I hear K calling my name. We'll have to finish this conversation later. Bye now!